Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Interview With Lisa Vaughn


Please give a warm welcome to the very talented author, Lisa Vaughn. Her beautiful memoir is entitled The Gifted Ones.

Q.  What was your inspiration for bringing your story to light?
A. Well this all came about after the death of my mother in 2005. Like a lot of daughters, I was surprised to discover I still carried a great deal of 'unfinished business' where she was concerned, and upon further investigation deep within my soul, I found 'others' that were in the mix also...including Selina. So through many 'therapy beach walks' with myself, I hashed out what I had pent up inside for the last 30+ years, which ultimately led me to first deal, then heal. Understanding the complicated paths and roles each of us had taken on, and why they were dealt with in the manner they were, which allowed me to connect the dots to understand, accept, and forgive - to finally let go and move on. But it wasn't until one fateful afternoon that I sat down with a friend of mine, and the topic of 'being gay' came up for some reason. I was not in the habit of telling my story to just anyone - actually, not even my current spouse knew - but for some reason I opened my mouth and it all just spilled out. From the look on her face, and the tears streaming down her face, I knew I had something truly special here. She convinced me to write a book. The world needed to hear my story, she said...and so, two weeks later, my first draft was officially born! 

Q. I read in your book that you have lost touch with Selina. Since your book’s publication, have you reached out to her? If so, what does she think of the book?
A. Actually THAT is the best part of this whole story! I knew as I was purging out all the details of our torrid past, I would have to find her if I ever thought of publishing in the future. I wouldn't dream of putting our story out there for the public's eyes if I did not have her approval first - after all, it is 'our' story. Long story short - I found her through her aunt via email, and the rest is history, as they say! We have since re-connected and it's like we never parted! Unfortunately we live cross-country from each other now, but we keep in touch on a weekly basis at the very least, and visit each other as often as we can. I call her my 'soul-sister' and she truly is still my BFF...we haven't changed a bit! I couldn't imagine my life without her, and plan on continuing our unique friendship until the day one of us takes our last breath. She respects and admires my need for self-expression as an artist, and is whole-heartedly behind me and 'our' book.

Q. How is The Gifted Ones different from other memoirs?
A. I always say, everyone has a story, this just happens to be mine. I know we all have a coming-of-age tale, that's just part of life. I do think my story is unique in many aspects, but still strikes a cord with all. From the mother/daughter rivalry to the battle with society, and ultimately my own self, everyone can find something that reflects a piece of themselves, like looking into a mirror. A great teaching tool for parents too, I feel. It all starts at home in the way we are raised. I made a conscious effort while raising my son, not to make the same mistakes my parents made with me, which is ultimately the key to changing society and the views we have on our fellow man. An open mind is the most valuable gift you can give your children...YOU have the power to stop the legacy of hatred where it starts...in our youth.

Q. What would you say to those people that might be a bit hesitant to read your story?
A. First off I'd say, don't let the 'gay' thing scare you. It is not a manual on 'Gay Love'. This book is for anyone that is breathing air and has a pulse - if you have those two things, then I'm assuming you have emotions too...which include the ability to 'love'. It doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, bi, or whatever - if you've ever loved, or longed to be loved, you will connect to this story in one way or another. That's the beauty of love - it connects us all. Like I say repeatedly in my chapters, how can loving someone be wrong?
But I would warn them that it is not sugar-coated. It is real and raw. If I felt it, I wrote it. I spoke from my heart, and sometimes it gets edgy and not so "PC"...so if you are an extremely sensitive reader, this might not be the read for you. But I guarantee you will learn something about yourself as a result. I feel this is the kind of story that will stick with you on some level, long after the last word has been read.

Q. How did you decide on the title and what does it represent?
 A. Great question! Actually 'gifted' was a word that Selina and I came up with to describe our truly unique, deep-seated relationship back then. We knew it went far deeper than 'regular' love. In our minds no one had ever discovered this level of intimacy - this height of 'togetherness'. Although we weren't religious, we felt we were the chosen ones, THE Gifted Ones - that knew of a secret dimension of love that very few - if any- had the privilege of experiencing. And tell you the truth, we still feel that way about it today! It's just a once-in-a-lifetime experience involving the innocense of first loves and a connection that you just don't find very often. And for that I still feel blessed, and well, gifted.

Q. If you could use one word to describe your book what would it be?
A. So many words come to mind, but one that describes it to a 'T'... "Unvarnished"
I called it like I saw it (and lived it)...period.

Q. What advice would you give to someone who is unaccepting of a family/friend’s same sex relationship?

A. First off, I'd ask them what they fear. Because fear is usually the driving factor of non-acceptance. I'd be curious to know how they perceive the actions of others to effect them personally. Acceptance doesn't mean that you'd choose the behavior as your own, it merely means you support the decision they have made for themselves. And if it is a healthy, happy love, how on earth can that EVER be wrong? We all have different fingerprints for a reason...because we are all meant to be different! Live and Let Live ~ Wise words from wise people. I can only pray we will all live to see that day, and perhaps with the help of great people and supporters like you that provide a platform for indie authors like me, we can get the message of acceptance out there..and perhaps 'live as one' as John Lennon would say.

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